Barbie Dolls for the Greater Champaign market:
“Savoy Barbie”
This Barbie is sold only at Savoy Plaza Shops. She comes with an assortment of imitation Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented Barbie version.
“Urbana Barbie”
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone and grad-student husband sold separately.
“Northeast Urbana Barbie”
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm, a 1993 Chevy with tinted windows, and a Meth Lab kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.
“Southwest Champaign Barbie”
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership . Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.
8 responses so far ↓
Vanity of Vanities, all is Vanity » Blog Archive » Hmmm… // February 13, 2007 at 10:30 pm
[...] Barbie dolls in the big flat. [...]
gamera // February 14, 2007 at 1:22 am
I got this one too….
Lisa // February 14, 2007 at 2:41 pm
A friend sent me that the other day and it was funny. They messed up on the Urbana Barbie, though. Ford Windstar? Where did that come from? Should have been a Volvo or a Forrester, Birkenstocks, maybe Yoga pants…I’m just saying!
Lisa // February 14, 2007 at 2:42 pm
And — don’t pounce on me, everyone. I own Yoga pants.
Mate'man // February 14, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Funny … I figured the Urbana Barbie would drive a ‘72 VW camper bus ……
leeanthro // February 15, 2007 at 12:20 pm
” Sidney/Tolono (or insert other small nearby town) Barbie”
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
My step-sister said she fits this one to a t! (Ugh!) Funny, I don’t really fit any of the categories.
Maladjusted // February 15, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I don’t really either leanthro, and for that I think I’m happy. Of course, even after 13 years here I still refuse to call it home, so I guess that makes sense.
khanada // February 15, 2007 at 3:04 pm
“Undergrad Barbie”
This well-tanned Barbie can currently be seen sporting skinny jeans and Ugg boots, despite the fact that this was in fashion everywhere else 2 years ago. In warmer weather, you can change her outfit to include flip flops and gaucho pants.
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